Okay so having ra is a pretty terrible thing on its worse days it’s really hard going from being healthy and strong and active happy all the time, to two laying in bed and being unable to move and having to have someone help you take a shower and get things like water; because it’s just difficult for you to get to the kitchen.
That’s hard to accept. Fortunately, I am a very lucky person that has an unbelievably supportive family: my mom, my dad, my sister and I have the most wonderful supportive wife. I don’t know where I would be without her.
Michelle knew me kind of before and after ra. she kind of knows both versions of me, but it’s crazy too rely on somebody for so much and it’s hard sometimes. She’s the kind of person that when I say these things to her, I tell her all the time, you know you’re a really special person because you stick around and you know you spent the last seven years of your life dealing with me having ra and it going up and down and getting worse from time to time.
All she has to say about that is “I love you that’s what I’m supposed to do it. You make my life happy so I’m here”. She doesn’t realize that that’s not normal for people. People don’t do that like they just don’t stick around and go through this like it’s nothing.
It’s important for her to know that that’s a rare rare thing. She’s a rare rare person to take on this. She took this on and she didn’t have to and in the beginning I asked her…I begged her to leave, because it wasn’t fair for her. She just looked at me like I was crazy and told me to put a sock in it because she wasn’t going because I make her laugh and make her happy.
You have to have a support system otherwise you’re never going to make it through this. If you have a supportive family and a supportive partner you are very very lucky and I’m happy to hear it. If you don’t, you need to find some some support. I’ll be your support if you need me to be your support. I have a lot to give.
I will be doing like a podcast with Michelle; kind of talking about her feelings and how she feels about these things and her frustrations, and how she could have handled this, but I just kind of felt like I needed to get this off my chest right now; while I was home, not passing out from pain medicine. So, that’s all I have to say about this and we’ll talk soon. I love you bye